The secret of attraction? Confidence, ladies. The secret to success? That’s confidence too!
You may or may not have heard by now that I’ll be taking part in a televised singing competition here in my father’s home country. The experience so far has been a major test to my self confidence.
In the past I used to pride myself on never feeling even the slightest nerves when performing in front of large groups of people. At that time I was a student, teased daily for the clothes I was wearing. Many of those clothes were my own creations, so of course I took the insults personally! Well, at first. After a few years of constantly being called a “slut, weird girl,” or even “the crazy girl,” I realized that everyone was really just jealous of something!
Maybe it sounds like my ego is taking over here, but I beg you not to stop reading now! That would be judging No, this is the way I chose to see it because after all… girls who call other girls “sluts,” just because they can pull off a hot pink mini skirt is just ridiculous. Obviously they wish they could wear that hot neon mini with such ease! And the boys? Yeah, they were just bitter over the fact that they didn’t have the courage to say anything remotely truthful to their feelings (aka boners). It’s a funny thing, actually. Some of those boys who made the most fun of me back then have actually straight up sent me messages pouring with emotion over how they “always thought [I] was so hot.” Whatever, bro.
The point is that feeling good about yourself is everything! On that first casting in front of the real judges I felt very nervous. For the first time in my life I was shaking from the belief that I just wasn’t as good as the other girls. The sensation was scary and disgustingly humbling! The longer I waited for my turn to get on stage, the worse it got. At some point I almost resorted to alcohol to ease the nerves!
So, what stopped me from feeling so freaked out? Why didn’t I freeze on stage? It’s simple. No matter what had happened during the coarse of the day and no matter how pretty those other girls were, there is something about myself I know I love. Just moments before the lights hit me I remembered the many compliments I’ve gotten in my life. I imagined that moment at the end of the Anything Goes musical in high school when the crowd went wild with admiration. I remembered how good it feels when that spotlight hits your cheeks. And finally I reminded myself how lucky I really am to have this chance, no mater how uncomfortable I may be with the song or dance or whatever.
I can’t tell you what happens next, so you’re just going to have to watch the TV show to find out! You can follow my musical journey on my Facebook fan page for all the latest news, some covers, and links to the live stream.
Things you can do to boost your self-confidence:
> Try something new! I’m talking about a hair cut, a fitness routine, even a date with that cute guy/girl from okcupid. Get out of your comfort zone and enjoy that fresh feeling.
> Go shopping! Sure, it sounds like a stereotype but it’s one that works for a lot of women out there. You don’t have to spend your whole paycheck either! Sometimes even just a new shade of nail polish will do the trick.
>Wear your “hot girl” outfit, just because. Yeah, just because! There shouldn’t have to be a reason to look your best. No matter what anybody says, you know you look hot and that is all that should matter. See my outfit? No matter what anyone says, I know I look good in it! Whether you like my shoes or not, I feel great! See?!
>Shoot away negativity. This one is super important if you’re often in a high stake situation that requires your all. I read somewhere the other day that women are self-checking themselves every 6 seconds. That’s insane. Instead of letting yourself be bullied by those thoughts about your thighs, zits,or the forever famous I can’t do this, zap away that bug in your head with by replacing it with something positive. Anything!
More great tips on boosting your confidence here.
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
“When someone tells me “no,” it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.”
― Karen E. Quinones Miller
“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.”
― John Lennon